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BREAKING: New Study Finds Majority of Humanity Is “Crazy” and Suffering from Extreme Social Emotional Disturbance, Experts Say
In a groundbreaking study just published in Science, researchers have revealed a shocking truth: the majority of human beings currently living on Earth are “crazy”—or, as the scientific community has more formally put it, suffering from acute psychological impairments and extreme, violent social emotional disabilities. The study, led by Dr. Herman Flicker, a leading psychologist Read more
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Story Time: The Dumpster King
By: The Story Time Storytellers Once upon a time, in a world not too different from our own, there was a man whose name we shall not use. Instead we will refer to him as the title he was eventually given and is now remembered for all time: The Dumpster King. He was born into Read more
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Breaking News: Adrien Brody Still Delivering 2025 Academy Award Acceptance Speech, AI Called In to “Wrap It Up”
Los Angeles, CA — In an unprecedented turn of events at the 2025 Academy Awards, multiple reports confirm that actor Adrien Brody is still on stage delivering his acceptance speech for Best Actor. As of this report, Brody has been speaking uninterrupted for over six days, much to the confusion and disbelief of both the Read more
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Top 10 Signs That Your Country Is Becoming an Authoritarian-Fascist Regime
By: Just In Case You Haven’t Noticed The signs of an authoritarian or fascist regime can be subtle at first. However, as the government tightens its grip, there are some undeniable signals that might make you think, “Hey, this seems a little off.” Here’s your guide to recognizing the signs that your country might be Read more
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OPINION: From Roosevelt to Reality TV: How America Went from a Fearless Rough Rider to a Big, Fat Cowardly Orange Man in the White House
In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, America had Teddy Roosevelt, a man whose testosterone was so high it practically oozed out of his pores and made him immune to basic human frailty like “fatigue” or “being afraid.” Known for his Rough Rider spirit, Roosevelt charged into battle, built the Panama Canal with nothing Read more
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Elon Musk Gives Federal Workers One More Chance to Have the Special Opportunity to Come Rub His Feet: “It’s the Chance of a Lifetime! These Feet Are Like Gold!”
In an unprecedented move that’s leaving Washington buzzing, tech mogul, head of DOGE and billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk has announced that federal employees will once again have a rare chance to personally visit him and rub his feet. Musk, known for his unconventional antics, says this is not just any foot massage — it’s a Read more
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Trump Administration Bans Snow in America, Claims It Has Become Woke: “We Must Protect Our Children. Snow is White. It Needs to Be Proud to Be White and Remain White.”
In an unexpected move, the Trump administration has announced an executive order banning snow across the United States, claiming that the once-pure and “patriotic” snow has become “woke” and is threatening the moral fabric of the nation. “It’s no secret snow has changed,” said President Donald Trump during a brief address at his Mar-a-Lago resort, Read more
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Trump Seen Running Through White House Halls Wearing Diaper, Screaming “Nobody Backs Baby in a Corner!”
Washington, D.C. — February 25, 2025 — In what can only be described as an unusual and perplexing scene, President Donald Trump was reportedly seen sprinting through the halls of the White House yesterday afternoon, wearing nothing but a diaper and shouting, “Nobody backs baby in a corner!” Sources inside the White House say that Read more
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Democrats Continue Strategy of Sending Old People with Monotone Voices on Stage in Hopes of Lulling MAGA Supporters to Sleep
“A nice long nap is what we all need,” says campaign strategist. In a bold continuation of their failed 2024 campaign strategy, Democratic leaders have doubled down on sending elderly politicians with exceedingly calm, monotone voices to the stage in a deliberate attempt to wear down and lull MAGA supporters into a peaceful, restorative nap. Read more
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