News
-
Headline: Trump Declares Himself “Sin-Free” After Deep Self-Reflection: “I Don’t Even Know What Sin Is”
Washington, D.C. – In a groundbreaking press conference earlier today, President Donald Trump boldly declared that he is “completely and utterly sin-free,” asserting that his personal “spiritual” journey has led him to the conclusion that sin simply doesn’t apply to him. “I’ve done a lot of thinking about this, folks,” Trump began, standing behind a Read more
-
Elon Musk’s DOGE Now Requires Federal Workers to Log Bathroom Breaks, Docking Pay to “Save Taxpayer Money”
Washington, D.C. — In an unprecedented move to “maximize productivity and save taxpayer dollars,” Elon Musk announced today that federal employees are now required to log their bathroom breaks using a new DOGE-powered app. According to Musk, this measure is part of his latest initiative to reduce government spending. “Every minute spent away from the Read more
-
Trump Announces New Plan to “Make Education Great Again” by Replacing Textbooks with Instagram Influencers
In a bold move to “revolutionize” the American education system, President Donald Trump unveiled a new educational reform plan on Saturday aimed at making schools more “fun” and “relevant to today’s youth.” According to sources close to Trump, the new plan will completely overhaul traditional textbooks and replace them with Instagram and X influencers, viral Read more
-
Secretary of State Marco Rubio Lost in South American Jungle, Task Force was Created for Russian Meetings in the Middle East
Washington, D.C. — In an unexpected turn of events during his diplomatic tour of South America, Secretary of State Marco Rubio was reported missing for several hours in a dense jungle. Sources close to Rubio confirm that the incident occurred while he was attempting to “take some personal alone time.” Rubio’s wandering occurred during a Read more
FakeTruth4U 