Marco Polo
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Marco Rubio Has Brief “Get Out”-Style Moment, Wants to Warn America During Trump’s Zelensky Ambush
WASHINGTON D.C.— In an absolutely surreal scene reminiscent of Get Out, Marco Rubio reportedly had a moment of deep, existential crisis Friday as he witnessed the embarrassing spectacle of Donald Trump and his loyal cronies attacking Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky during a meeting at the White House. Rubio, often considered a stalwart defender of the Read more
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Elon Musk’s DOGE Now Requires Federal Workers to Log Bathroom Breaks, Docking Pay to “Save Taxpayer Money”
Washington, D.C. — In an unprecedented move to “maximize productivity and save taxpayer dollars,” Elon Musk announced today that federal employees are now required to log their bathroom breaks using a new DOGE-powered app. According to Musk, this measure is part of his latest initiative to reduce government spending. “Every minute spent away from the Read more
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Secretary of State Marco Rubio Lost in South American Jungle, Task Force was Created for Russian Meetings in the Middle East
Washington, D.C. — In an unexpected turn of events during his diplomatic tour of South America, Secretary of State Marco Rubio was reported missing for several hours in a dense jungle. Sources close to Rubio confirm that the incident occurred while he was attempting to “take some personal alone time.” Rubio’s wandering occurred during a Read more
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