News
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BREAKING: New Study Finds Majority of Humanity Is “Crazy” and Suffering from Extreme Social Emotional Disturbance, Experts Say
In a groundbreaking study just published in Science, researchers have revealed a shocking truth: the majority of human beings currently living on Earth are “crazy”—or, as the scientific community has more formally put it, suffering from acute psychological impairments and extreme, violent social emotional disabilities. The study, led by Dr. Herman Flicker, a leading psychologist Read more
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Story Time: The Dumpster King
By: The Story Time Storytellers Once upon a time, in a world not too different from our own, there was a man whose name we shall not use. Instead we will refer to him as the title he was eventually given and is now remembered for all time: The Dumpster King. He was born into Read more
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Breaking News: Adrien Brody Still Delivering 2025 Academy Award Acceptance Speech, AI Called In to “Wrap It Up”
Los Angeles, CA — In an unprecedented turn of events at the 2025 Academy Awards, multiple reports confirm that actor Adrien Brody is still on stage delivering his acceptance speech for Best Actor. As of this report, Brody has been speaking uninterrupted for over six days, much to the confusion and disbelief of both the Read more
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SPORTS – Breaking News: LeBron James Hires Private Investigators, Discovers Stephen A. Smith is a Tiny Troll Sent to Agitate NBA Players and Fans
In an unprecedented turn of events, sources have confirmed that LeBron James has employed a team of private investigators, who uncovered startling evidence: ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith is not, in fact, a basketball analyst—he is a tiny troll that dug his way out of the depths of the Earth, specifically to stir up controversy and Read more
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Elon Musk Threatens to Fine Homeowners for Keeping Space Trash After Starship Explosion
By Galactic Insider In a bold and unusual move, Elon Musk has announced that SpaceX will begin issuing fines to homeowners who fail to return space debris that falls onto their property. The decision comes just days after SpaceX’s Starship rocket exploded in mid-air during its second failed launch of the year, showering the Caribbean Read more
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Sources Reveal Democrats Are Just Disappointed Al Green Didn’t Stand Up and Say, “Let’s Stay Together” During 2025 Presidential Address to the Joint Session of Congress
Washington D.C. — As President Donald Trump delivered his highly anticipated 2025 Presidential Address to the Joint Session of Congress, many Americans were left feeling a bit underwhelmed. Not by the policy proposals, mind you, but by the conspicuous absence of Al Green’s classic words, “Let’s stay together.” Instead, he serenaded the room with a Read more
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OPINION: A story of a lone 77 year old man, Democratic Rep. Al Green, who stood up against a wave of tyranny during the 2025 Presidential address to the joint session, and what it should mean to all of us
During the 2025 Presidential Address to the Joint Session of Congress, a powerful moment occurred when 77-year-old Democratic Representative Al Green of Texas stood up against what he perceived as an immoral and harmful policy being pushed by President Donald Trump. The event was marked by the tension of a divided Congress, with President Trump Read more
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President Trump, After 2025 Presidential Address, Calls Putin for “Feedback”
March 5, 2025 Washington D.C. — In an unexpected twist following his 2025 Presidential Address to a Joint Session of Congress, President Donald Trump reportedly dialed Russian President Vladimir Putin early the next morning to ask, “Did I do good?” According to sources inside the White House, Trump, still basking in the afterglow of Read more
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President Donald Trump Turns 2025 Presidential Address to Joint Session of Congress Into a Game Show; Some Receive Gifts, Others Escorted Out
March 4, 2025 WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning break from tradition, President Donald Trump’s 2025 Presidential Address to the Joint Session of Congress was transformed into an elaborate game show spectacle, leaving both lawmakers and viewers in equal parts confused and “entertained.” As the president took the podium, instead of the usual sober tone, Read more
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Trump Preps for 2025 State of the Union by Watching the Home Shopping Network, Sources Confirm
March 4, 2025 Washington, D.C. – In what can only be described as a highly unconventional approach to preparing for one of the most important speeches of his presidency, former President Donald Trump has reportedly been spending his evenings tuning into the Home Shopping Network (HSN) to “study the art of persuasion” in anticipation of Read more
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