Los Angeles, CA — In an unprecedented turn of events at the 2025 Academy Awards, multiple reports confirm that actor Adrien Brody is still on stage delivering his acceptance speech for Best Actor. As of this report, Brody has been speaking uninterrupted for over six days, much to the confusion and disbelief of both the live audience and broadcast viewers.
Sources say that at one point, the situation became so out of control that AI technology had to be deployed to assist in the live broadcast, after security failed to remove the increasingly agitated actor. “We were able to ‘wrap up his speech’ using an advanced AI system,” explained an anonymous broadcast executive. “But it wasn’t easy. We had to bring in a screen and practically wrap him like a human burrito to stop him from continuing. At one point, he was talking about a scene in The Brutalist that hadn’t even been in the movie.”
Eyewitnesses report that Brody, who won his first Best Actor Oscar for his role in The Pianist years ago, and this year earning his second for The Brutalist, showed no signs of stopping despite attempts to intervene. “He’s been up there for days just… talking. Like, non-stop,” said a fellow nominee who requested to remain anonymous. “He keeps babbling about Method acting and his dreams, and how fragile it is to be an actor, and every time someone tries to get close, he either throws gum at them or grabs them and plants an open-mouthed kiss. It’s… honestly terrifying.”
Close friends and family are apparently powerless in the situation. “We’ve just been rolling bottles of water toward him,” one relative claimed, speaking from a nearby private room. “He doesn’t respond. He just keeps talking about how the Oscars need a ‘revolution’ and how we need to ‘bring back the real stars of cinema’ like Marlon Brando. It’s… it’s… madness.”
Law enforcement officers, who initially attempted to guide Brody off the stage, have since been forced to stand back. “We tried everything,” said one officer, visibly distressed. “But every time we approach, he either gives us an impromptu monologue about the ‘sacred nature of silence in film’ or starts singing opera. We just… we just let him be. At this point, the Oscars have become his stage, and we’re all just in the audience.”
As of now, Brody remains alone on stage, still addressing an empty auditorium. Those who attended the event report hearing nothing but his disjointed ramblings and the occasional shriek of “Where is my trophy?” echoing through the vacant halls of the Dolby Theatre.
In a statement released by the Academy, officials say they are “working diligently” on a solution, though they remain uncertain whether Brody will ever leave the stage, or if his speech will ultimately become a new form of performance art that defines the era.
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