Trump Boasts About Being the Toughest Man in the World, Declares America Was ‘Crap’ Until He Became President

In an exclusive interview on Fox News this morning, former President Donald Trump, speaking with his signature flair, declared that he is the “toughest man” alive and that America was “absolute crap” before he became President.

“Let’s be honest, folks,” Trump said, adjusting his tie, which he insisted was “the best tie, absolutely the best, everyone says that.” “Before I came along, America was a total disaster. It was weak, pathetic, and frankly, nobody respected us. But I, Donald J. Trump, walked in, and BOOM—everything changed. No one could believe it.”

As the interview progressed, Trump went on to recount his numerous feats of “strength and courage” throughout his life, including his infamous golf game where he claimed to have shot a perfect round on a 19-hole course, his 6-figure bench press record, and his ability to “defeat anyone in a staring contest, anywhere, anytime.”

“The world needed a man like me,” Trump continued, flexing his bicep, which he claimed was “tougher than anything you’ve ever seen, believe me.”

“America was basically a joke. People were laughing at us. You think the Soviet Union was worried about Barack Obama? Sleepy Joe Biden? No way! But they trembled when I came into office.”

Social media erupted after Trump referred to Russia as “the Soviet Union’l sparking an online storm of confusion, disbelief, and memes that could crash the internet.

The slip-up sent social media into overdrive, with thousands of users questioning whether the president had somehow missed the last 30 years of world history.

“Uhh… did he just say the Soviet Union? Like, the one that dissolved in 1991?” posted @HistoryBuff234 on X, who was promptly inundated with replies correcting him, some more politely than others with responses like “more like @HistoryBuffoon.”

Others took a more humorous approach, creating a flood of memes showing Trump discussing modern events as if he were still living in the ’80s, including one particularly viral image of Trump holding a flip phone and asking, “So, how do we defeat the USSR in Afghanistan?”

“BREAKING: Trump claims victory in Cold War 2.0,” quipped @ColdWarVeteran123. “What’s next? Is he gonna tell us to avoid getting into a war with Yugoslavia?”

But, more attention was given to his never ending rant where he bragged about his strength. Despite criticism from some quarters of the media, Trump held firm on his belief that America’s resurgence came at his hands, including his unrivaled ability to “negotiate” with world leaders by “staring them down until they blinked, and if they didn’t, I’d just threaten to leave the room, and believe me, they always blinked.”

When asked about his relationship with current world leaders, Trump dismissed their concerns. “Listen, I have the best relationship with everybody. I just told Kim Jong-un I was tougher than him, and boom! He sent me a letter, an amazing letter, the best letter you’ve ever seen. Believe me, that was tough diplomacy.”

Trump also took time to reflect on his legacy. “I‘m just doing my job, folks. I am turning America from a total joke into a powerhouse! Did you see what I did to Zelensky today? Everyone’s talking about it. They all say that’s the toughest man I’ve ever seen. He’s not afraid of anybody. Zelensky wanted to cry! I could see it in his eyes. I’m so tough! And now, I’m just waiting for someone to beat me. But no one’s tough enough.”

When asked about his plans for the future of America, Trump was unequivocal: “Well, I’m already the toughest man on the planet. The toughest ever. I’ll make America tough, again. It’ll be huge. We’ll have the best citizens, the best everything.”

In closing, Trump summarized his achievements in his usual grandiose style. “Before me, America was crap. After me? World domination. And I’m just getting started.”

The interview ended, before leaving for his daily nap, with Trump looking directly into the camera and mouthing the words, “Toughest. Ever.”