President Trump Reveals He is Descendant of Pigs, Will Only Respond to “King Pig

In an announcement that stunned the nation, President Donald Trump revealed today that he is a direct descendant of pigs and will henceforth only be referred to as “King Pig.” The press conference, held in the Rose Garden, saw Trump strut to the podium with an air of regal arrogance, sporting an extravagant new crown and a pink satin cape.

“I’ve done tremendous research, folks—big research,” Trump declared, his voice booming with newfound confidence. “It turns out, I’m not just a billionaire, reality TV star, and the greatest president America has ever had. I’m also a descendant of pigs. Very proud pigs. Big pigs. The best pigs.”

Trump went on to explain that his lineage stretches back centuries, with his family hailing from a long line of porcine royalty. “I knew there was something special about me. You could always tell by just looking at my skin,” he said, pausing for effect. “I mean, just look at my nose, folks. It’s perfect. It’s a snout for the ages.”

According to Trump, genetic testing revealed that his bloodline traces back to a fabled herd of swine who once ruled over a small kingdom in what is now modern-day Europe. “It’s true,” he said, “I’ve got royal blood—pig blood. And I’m not ashamed of it. It’s fantastic. Believe me.”

In an apparent effort to further solidify his new identity, President Trump also issued a royal decree, demanding that all references to him in official documents and public addresses be made with the honorific “King Pig.” He even unveiled a new presidential seal, featuring a pig wearing a crown, with a belly covered with the words “King Pig: The Best Pig.”

The announcement has sparked mixed reactions across the country. Supporters are praising the move as a bold reclamation of American greatness, while critics are questioning the president’s judgment.

“Beyond claiming to be a king, he’s claiming to be a king,” said Democratic Senator Linda Harris. “It’s another very warped power grab”

Meanwhile, Republicans are rallying behind their new leader. “It’s brilliant,” said Republican strategist Carl Davenport. “King Pig is going to dominate. Who wouldn’t want a king running the country? I mean, he already had the best ‘wall’—now he’s got the best title.”

Despite the controversy, Trump has remained unfazed. “I’ve always been a winner,” he said. “But now I’m a pig winner. And let me tell you, nobody wins like King Pig.”

As for the nation’s future, Trump has promised to continue pursuing his ambitious goals, including a massive new pork barrel spending project and a nationwide pig farm revitalization effort.

“I’ve got the best plans, folks. We’re going to make pigs great again,” Trump concluded, flashing his signature smile. “The future is piggy, and it will become my own private mud hole.”