
In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, America had Teddy Roosevelt, a man whose testosterone was so high it practically oozed out of his pores and made him immune to basic human frailty like “fatigue” or “being afraid.” Known for his Rough Rider spirit, Roosevelt charged into battle, built the Panama Canal with nothing but his bare hands, and once fought a bear with his bare fists. America could do no wrong with such a physically imposing leader in charge.

Fast forward a century, and somehow, America has found itself with a president who’s so far removed from Roosevelt’s vigor that even the faintest mention of “exercise” sends him into a full-on rage vis-à-vis Truth Social.
The question on everyone’s lips: How did we go from Teddy Roosevelt, the embodiment of the American ideal of rugged independence, fighting for the rights of the common man as a trust buster against the wealthy robber barons using the “Square Deal” to ensure all Americans had a fair shot, only to find ourselves decades later with the exact opposite in Donald Trump, a man who can barely take a brisk walk to the snack table? A clown that has clamped himself on the teets of oligarchs and modern JP Morgans that have no love for the middle-class, much less the poor!?
The answer, of course, lies in the fundamental transformation of American values—namely, a cultural shift from “grit” to “gravy.” Roosevelt’s era celebrated the sort of stoic masculinity that had no time for vanity or insecurity. He famously once said, “Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are”—likely while wrestling an elk to the ground. Meanwhile, Trump’s approach to leadership, making America proud as the first convicted-felon president, can best be described as “Do what you can… with a comb-over, a 6:30 PM fast food dinner, and a deep commitment to posting bizarre memes.”

But don’t get it twisted, folks. It’s not just the looks that have changed. Teddy Roosevelt would have never shrunk from a challenge, whether it was facing down a jungle beast, taking on corporate corruption, or jumping in to help resolve international turmoil. Trump, on the other hand, is less of a problem-solver and more of a problem-creator—spending his time on social media ranting about windmills, fake news, and the terrifying consequences of losing a golf game.
Where Roosevelt believed in the dignity of hard work and rugged individualism, Trump has perfected the art of looking down at a McDonald’s burger as though it’s the pinnacle of American achievement. If Roosevelt’s energy could power a city, Trump’s is more akin to that of a person who uses a rascal scooter to get to the buffet.

And then there’s the physicality of it all. Roosevelt was a man who hunted lions, rode horses into battle, and famously took a bullet in the chest during a speech, then continued on for another hour. Trump, meanwhile, gets winded after a short stroll to the podium to boast about his “yuge” achievements and blithering on while selling shirts about the blood he spilled from a bullet that supposedly knicked his ear (rumors and conspiracy theorists say he set it up to gain publicity. But, we won’t venture down the rabit hole that Trumpass enjoys jumping in). A warrior on horseback to a warrior in a recliner—the leap seems incomprehensible, yet here we are.

Some historians point to the fact that Roosevelt had a sense of duty that transcended his personal interests. When faced with the country’s struggles, he rolled up his sleeves and dove headfirst into the fray. In contrast, Trump is more likely to roll up his sleeves to reveal a #1 golf champion tattoo and dive headfirst into the nearest KFC bucket.
Roosevelt recognized the importance of the land and the sanctity of the environment. In addition, Roosevlt expressed the idea of “speak softly and carry a big stick.” He did not believe in isolation, instead, he declared the United States must “exercise international police power in ‘flagrant cases of such wrongdoing or impotence.’” Trump is the complete opposite and is working to destroy everything America has worked to become. Trump defends dictators and threatens allies, writes executive orders that strip away environmental protections and the rights of citizens, and is bent on isolating America from not only the entire world, but basic human decency.
So, how did we go from Theodore Roosevelt’s battle-hardened heroism to (Saving Private Bone Spurs) Donald Trump’s Truth Social-powered tantrums? Well, it’s a mystery wrapped in a riddle, drenched in fast food and covered in the orange sheen of celebrity culture and the sinful tentacles of the internet. It’s clear that we’ve traded in our Rough Riders for someone who could only muster a rough reposting of alt-right indoctrinating propaganda while hiding in a Mar-a-Lago bunker—and it’s probably best we stop pretending that the two are remotely comparable.

But hey, America, as long as the fast food keeps coming, maybe that’s all we need. Perhaps, it might be what some of us deserve, as we lounge in our basements or mindlessly wander around public spaces staring at our phones and scrolling around, searching for 15 second videos and sound-bites, rather than fellowship with our neighbor. Just don’t expect the ghost of Roosevelt to be impressed.
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