In a bold move to “revolutionize” the American education system, President Donald Trump unveiled a new educational reform plan on Saturday aimed at making schools more “fun” and “relevant to today’s youth.” According to sources close to Trump, the new plan will completely overhaul traditional textbooks and replace them with Instagram and X influencers, viral TikTok trends, and Trump’s own Truth Social content.
“We’ve been doing education all wrong,” Trump declared during a press conference in front of a backdrop of confused-looking students, who were apparently unaware they had been enrolled in the “Trump Academy for Greatness.” “Textbooks are old-school, folks. You want history? Just look at my Truth Social account. You want math? Check out how many times I’ve won.”
The new initiative, called Influencer Education for the Future, will bring in top social media stars to teach core subjects. Popular influencers such as @FlexinWithFay, known for posting motivational memes about getting out of bed, will now teach “History,” with lessons covering topics like “The Art of the Comeback” and “How to Win Every Debate.”
The curriculum overhaul goes further: Trump has also proposed a new history class focused exclusively on his presidency, titled “Trump 101: The Art of Winning.” According to insiders, it will include sections such as “The Best Deals” and “Why Fake News is the Real Threat to America.”
“There will be no more liberal agenda,” Trump said, his voice rising to a crescendo. “We’re bringing back the good stuff, folks. Teachers who say, ‘The Constitution isn’t about me’—wrong. It’s about me. I’ve said it, I’ve posted it, and I’ve won. Period.”
The decision has sparked an uproar among educators and parents, with some claiming it’s a step backward. “This isn’t just about textbooks anymore; it’s about critically engaging with history,” said a history teacher at a public school in Ohio. “But if I can teach students to learn from Trump’s Truth Social feed instead of real sources, maybe I should start offering a course on ‘How to Avoid Accountability’.”
In response to the backlash, Trump posted, “The haters and losers are mad because we’re making education ‘fun’ again. Forget your boring textbooks—let’s learn from people who actually know how to get ahead.”
The new plan also includes a “real-world” economics course, where students will learn how to sell hats, create their own brands, and survive in the competitive world of reality television. In addition, Trump announced a partnership with the Kardashian family to offer the “Influencer Leadership Program” to high school seniors, where students will learn how to build a social media empire, avoid taxes, and become famous for doing absolutely nothing.
“What’s important,” Trump continued, “is that we make education about winning—that’s what America is about, right? No more being stuck with boring facts that no one cares about. Instead, we’ll teach them how to build an empire, like I did. They’ll be great, just like me.”
To conclude his speech, Trump raised a red, white, and blue “MAGA” cap and declared, “If you want to be a great student, you have to think like a winner. And the best part is—you’ll never have to read a book again.”
As Trump’s “revolutionary” new plan moves forward, educators are scrambling to figure out how to incorporate TikTok dances into algebra lessons. Stay tuned for updates on whether America’s future is really #Trending.
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