WASHINGTON (AP-FAF) — In an unexpected turn of events, Melania Trump, the First Lady of the United States, was reportedly deported by ICE officials early this morning after a mix-up involving her “First Lady visa,” sources confirm.
The confusion reportedly began when Melania, who had just finished a routine visit to the spa in Florida, was stopped at an ICE checkpoint while returning to the White House. An unnamed ICE officer reportedly asked her for her visa and work permit. “I thought it was just another photo op,” Melania said in a statement, “but then they asked me for my papers, and I was like, ‘Don’t you know who I am?’”
ICE agents, seemingly unaware of Melania’s status as the First Lady, became suspicious after noticing her Slovenian passport, which reportedly “looked a little too fancy” for an ordinary visitor. “We see a lot of people with questionable documentation, so we had to be thorough,” one ICE agent said on the condition of anonymity. “Turns out we might have jumped the gun on that one. Who knew the First Lady needed a special clearance?”
Before she could clarify her identity, the situation escalated, and Melania was escorted onto an ICE bus bound for a “temporary detainment facility” located near the Mexican border.
“Honestly, I thought it was a joke,” said a bewildered Melania, who was later spotted on a bus with a group of confused tourists and a family of four who were apparently just trying to get to Disneyland. “It wasn’t until we reached Texas that I realized they weren’t kidding.”
President Trump, upon hearing of the incident, expressed his frustration on Truth Social, writing: “Totally disgraceful that Melania got deported. ICE clearly has a misunderstanding. She’s been with me for years! #GetMyWifeBack #FirstLadyOrBust.” Later, Trump added, “Also, the agents should’ve checked her social media. She literally posts pictures every day! Where was the Secret Service? #FLOTUSForever.”
Sources close to the First Lady stated she told the Secret Service to give her privacy on spa days. Agents were nearby, but panicked when they realized she went missing. The entire agency was scrambling to locate her. Anonymous sources also claim that her son, Barron Trump, was hysterical and seen running through the halls of the White House screaming, “What did you do to my mommy?!”
The First Lady was finally released after several hours when a “special clearance” was issued from the White House, though not before an ICE officer allegedly asked her to sign an NDA about the incident.
“I think they were just trying to make sure I wasn’t working illegally or something,” Melania said. “But it’s fine. It was a little adventure. Maybe I’ll write a book about it. ‘The First Lady Who Went to Mexico’—has a nice ring to it, no?”
In a statement later issued by the White House, officials reassured the public that Melania would be staying in the country. “We are taking steps to ensure that no more ‘accidental deportations’ occur,” said Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. “We’ve also spoken to ICE about making sure everyone knows that Melania is, in fact, legally allowed to stay here. She’s been here longer than most of their staff.”
As of press time, Melania was seen at a “Welcome Home” party at the White House, though a source close to the family said she seemed distant with the President and might have secretly requested a new passport just to be safe.
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